mobility

i can be considered to be in the lower-income group/class of Singaporeans. and life can be quite difficult sometimes, especially when everything that we use needs money in this capitalist machine we live in. but sometimes i think, being in a place of constantly needing to consider and hold my decisions because of finances, and the lack of it, is actually a good thing. it teaches me the value of hard work and the sweet taste of good labour. it gives me the sense of achievement of getting money, creating and owning things by myself. of course, when i say by myself, i mean what Jesus works in with and through me. and also the blessing on whatever my hands touch. but you get the picture.

im reminded of what Steve Jobs said, "the heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again". being a student, and a dependent by definition of demographics, you always feel like you are a beginner, especially in university where you are constantly impressed, overwhelmed, excited, weary (sometimes all at once) almost everyday. you are still venturing and testing the waters, what suits you what doesnt what gets you ticking and what keeps you seated up and on the edge of your seat. you have not yet step into the world of work, adulthood and lethargy. you are still green. and green is always good. i think thats why people like to constantly do and try out new things. the anticipation, the excitement, the nimbleness, the apprehension, the bouts of illogical courage and fear that keeps us going. and this is also why i feel people who have it all, be it they or their parents are affluent, famous and well-known are often not the happiest people in the world, because the deadweight of being successful starts to wear them down: people's expectations, how people treat you, how society expects nothing lower from you, how there is always a benchmark to surpass. unless they are constantly positioning themselves as beginners and newbies, most likely these people are not satisfied with what they have and who they are.

so, i wouldnt mind being the lesser or the least, because then it is easier to be the richer, fuller, to have more with less and also be the first in being last.