still havent found what im looking for

Matt 5:7 "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets; I have not come to abolish but to fulfill them"

thank You Jesus once again for bringing light to me. this time via Pastor Judah Smith's sermon series titled: "Still havent found what i'm looking for" of which Part 3 of 6 is here: http://vimeo.com/76294728

aahh. so i just came back from a pretty long holiday in Italy with my mum and aunt. it turned out better than expected in some ways and abit disappointing in others. but nevertheless, we are all back safe and sound, happy, bought everything that we had wanted and so thats good!

but since i landed in Singapore, i just kept feeling like im so dusty and dry, spiritually. without the usual dosage of going to church and listening regularly to the Word, my soul just felt so dry and frustrated. i knew that. i tried the 'methods' that i know: listen to the Word again, read the devo, read the daily scripture, read more devos, but still, i felt equally dry, if not more agitated with myself, as to why im not 'getting into the flow'. so i just turned on Pastor Judah Smith's sermons where i had left off, and the title got me: "still havent found what im looking for" that pretty much describes how im feeling about 1 half hours ago.

he shares about Jesus as THE FULFILLMENT AND THE FULFILLER of the law, or in today's modern context, the to-do lists, the must-dos, the must-achieves, the must-haves etc etc. the social status chase, the fame game, the rat race, whatever you call it. Jesus came, so as to fulfill and satisfy those 'lists' and self-made 'laws'. you know those laws: i must get married by 30 as i have limited shelf life, i must get a CAP 4+/5 so that i can get a good job and a good pay and a good life, i must be more caring and nice to people around me especially my family cos thats what is good, etc etc etc.

but you know, Jesus IS the FULFILLMENT of ALL THOSE LAWS that we burdened ourselves with, though seemingly legit and 'responsible', but following these laws is NOT what Jesus has called us believers to be/do in our lives. Jesus has called us to have a RELATIONSHIP with Him. not a set of goals, steps, rituals, customs to get 'closer to God', to have 'the good life'. JUST COME TO JESUS. forget all the 'right' things to do, the necessary things that you need to do. and just LET JESUS. just FOLLOW Jesus. Pastor Judah says follow always = faith. just FAITH Jesus. just TRUST Jesus. and LET HIM do what He wants to do in your life. in my life.

for me, my version 'laws' these days are: i need to know what im good at, what my strengths are, what i want, what i dont want, so that i can make an informed and wise decision about what career to take when i graduate in 5 months. the lists are: i need to finish my thesis by 17 FEB. that is approximately only 2 MONTHS :O!! the burdens are: should i take more modules so that i make good use of my last sem in NUS or should i take chill mods so that i can time to finish writing my thesis on good time. all sounds legit right? nothing 'wrong' with these things that are going in my head, my most immediate concerns in the coming months ahead. BUT, Jesus calls them LAWS. or the chore chart as Pastor Judah says. why would i want to walk past Jesus who has promised to do everything for me, including and more than those concerns that i just listed above, in a fun, superabundant and super satisfying manner; and go back to the boring lifeless dead chore chart? why would i just walk past the Fulfiller of all these laws i give myself, and try and help myself achieve those laws? no! go to Jesus who IS THE FULFILLER of these laws and so MUCH MORE! Jesus doesnt follow rules and laws, Jesus' ways are not logical and rational according the limit of my brain/intellect. Jesus KNOWS exactly what i need, exactly where i can get it, exactly how i will get it, and get the job done in the most excellent manner. i on the other hand dont! i dont know when im gonna finish my thesis, if im ever gonna even start on it (:O!!)/ but thats why i NEED TO GO TO JESUS! i dont need rules and laws for myself, i need the Lifegiver, Wisdom personified, the Source of all. i need Jesus.

thank You Jesus once again for this timely reminder. im gonna follow and trust IN YOU, nothing more, nothing less.