there is something in the air during this months leading to christmas. something magical and exciting. yep christmas is still like any other day, if i'm cynical. but i'm not completely. not really close too. so yes! i do and am looking forward to ending my exams and 'preparing' and dreaming about christmas. which leads me to my next point.
the pre-, during and post-christmas periods i observed anecdotally, are very difficult and liminal times for singles. its the time of the year when you wish, in your own fantasy time, that you have someone to share this lovely season with. it is true, though i have no statistics, that many people get together and break up during this period of the year. why, for sure, i have no answers, but i think we all have our own theories for that. i believe one is that idea that festive seasons are meant to be shared in a community with friends and family, or (even better) a relationship with that special someone. its time to reflect and give thanks for what the year has given to you, for surviving till this far. since most of us become optimists during this months, we hope and wish. thats when it gets painful haha. which brings me to my next point.
im starting to think that maybe, just maybe, we dont have to be in relationships. seems like a very simple deduction. but i think we have been inundated (and haunted) by this idea that we will one day look across the room and fall in love at first sight with that special 'one', date for 10 years and marry and have kids and live happily ever after. despite the numerous contrary statistics and experiences we have, majority of us still hold stubbornly on to that ideal. we are so obsessed with that idea and image of falling in love and being in a relationship. we HAVE to get attached. its just a matter of time. and a matter of the 'right' one.
but you see, each and every person is so unique and so idiosyncratic; one goes through so many stages of life and experiences; come from so many distinct and diverse backgrounds; would never know what the future holds. the combination of all these things makes me think, who said we need/should be in relationships? what 'law' is there that subsumes everyone on earth to such an experience called (falling in) love? why do we have to?
it seems to me that relationships take alot of work to make them work. i know of course there are intangible and out-of-this-world experiences that you get, but still, it is still a work right? and not everyone is made to be able to live with another person for the rest of his/her life right? these insidious thoughts are slowly seeping into my awhile ago, idealistic mind. maybe its just justification for me, since its been on the very quiet side in this area for me hahaa. and im just not ready- emotionally, physically, psychologically, circumstantially, financially. but more importantly, do i have to be ready? why?
from a tired-from-mugging, single, slowly-slightly-skeptical twenty year old
You don't have to fall in love. You just do. And I don't think everyone is ever ready for a relationship. It's not a destination, I think it's a journey that you take on with someone. And it's only that one person you're willing to take it with.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right, we don't HAVE to get attached. It's a stupid notion. But when it happens, it happens. And when that happens, well, I MUST BE THE FIRST TO KNOW! Hahaha. And why don't you ever say such things when we meet up! You how interesting! :D Hahaha.
Anw, all the best for finals may! We meet up soon :D:D
wow coming from sammie..haha!
ReplyDeleteWHEN it happens la, i foresee that to still be a long way to go. haaha, i dont because the mind and the mouth got disconnect.. if i make sense. yes, all the best for finals too! and thank you :)