:/

i know i sound contradictory by saying this but i really just want oweek to be over and get started with lectures and classes. i'm not joining as a freshie and all cos i signed up as photographer so technically i'm part of the oweek comm, which i'm starting to regret cos its not as fun as its sounds, but i'm still meeting new people. and i completely am inapt at that. omg, i make a terrible first impression, i cant think of anything interesting to say, i cant crack funny jokes, i'm not witty, i look like i'm pissed off at you for talking to me.

i know; i should be chilling, enjoying, making new friends,whatever. i just feel that orientation and all that it entails ie cheers, small talk, fake enthusiasm, is very contrived and pretentious. i know it is the 'normal' way for you to make new friends and bond with strangers, but i just dont like it. its makes me feel like i have to be interesting and cool and loud and funny to be accepted. unless you ARE like that on a normal basis, you feel like a hypocrite. why torment yourself?

let me survive this week Lord.