something's wrong.

so! had my first shopping trip today since forever. really tiring. i have absolutely no stamina for shopping. running 10k yes, cycling for 10hours yes, but not shopping. but its nice just strolling in orchard after months of cooping up in my room or school mugging. just the feeling of doing next to nothing, without guilt or stress weighing down on you. ohman..:]

catching up on books now. i really enjoy reading. my lit texts do not count. it makes you more aware of things happening around you; subtlties and little nuances of human emotion you would normally gloss over if not for the author's own small observations of people and relationships. and for me, helps me to express myself much better-was terrible at that before,haha. maybe thats why i like arts more than sciences now. there's that space for you to express your opinion, not swallow wholesale someone else's theories.

this has no link to what i am saying but i think as you grow older, you see the world, or maybe your world as a much darker place, darker than you are comfortable with. something rightfully as normal as preserving your body till the day you are married is so cheaply and derogatorily happening everywhere, even amongst your good friends. its just wrong, you know. call me conservative or old-fashioned; but dont deny you once believed it, like you once believed in santa or toothfairies. normal doesnt seem normal anymore. if you dont do certain things by a certain age, oh, you become a loser, someone with 'no life', socially awkward, boring and weird. stupid labels. downright lame.

i guess we live our own lives, but we're all intertwined, whichever way you see it.